I miss hip-hop

I love hip-hop music. I love all music, but hip-hop has always held a special place in my heart. Recently, however, so many songs have been released that are just stupid. Why do some many songs (mainly rap) involve bragging about money, cars, girls, etc. that they do not have? What happened to the songs about life, about love, and the fun songs aboutnothing, really, but just fun?
Music is basically a means to telling your story. It is a method of communication that allows others to experience, more or less, your life. It tells stories of love found, love lost, and love unrequited. It brings joy to what is sometimes a very hectic and harsh life. This music allowed me to eavesdrop on other people's personal thoughts and see life through their eyes. To experience what they experience and feel the same emotions they feel. It lets me know there are other people out there that think like me and have the same problems I have. It tells me I am not alone and things do get better. This is what music is about.

Music is also about having fun, especially hip-hop. It is fun stories and funny situations. It is silly lyrics that make you smile and amazing beats that challenge you to sit still. It is a parallel universe that exist just outside of our own and provides a temporary relief from life's drama.

Hip-hop, in particular, defines your generation. You can listen to the songs put out when you were a teen and are instantly back in that time. The next generation will inevitably create their own music that they claim is better than mine, and call me old-school. And this is how life is supposed to be. We always improve on the previous, and the previous always claims to be the original. That is why music is so important.

I miss hip-hop and wish it would return.

lost

i'm trying to figure out the reason i'm here

at this place, at this time, in this condition

they say all thing are meant to be

that there are no exceptions

so why is it i'm meant to be lost

still searching, and hoping, and trying

as much as i pray and ask for signs

on how i'm suppossed to be

i find myself constantly looking back

getting stuck on shoulda,coulda,woulda been

there is no moral and anecdote to my ramblings

no happy conclusion to what i said

i guess i'm just venting, misdirecting questions

that should be asked of myself, instead

--Originally posted 9/01/06--

I Missed You

What happened to you? You've been such a stranger. I actually forgot you. Seeing you now brings your memories back so clearly. You have always been a funny, smart, romantic dreamer. I remember you always wanted to be in New York. You just knew Broadway was your destiny. And here you are. Strutting down Broadway on a rainy May afternoon. I see you finally made it. Even if you are only on holiday, you are here. Just like you always said. Maybe the theater hasn't quite panned out, yet. Your life is at a climax and us reuniting is a strong sign of possibilities. I have never been more focused than I am at this moment. Your self assurance of purpose and sense of being is sublime. I have relinquished my doubts and I am open to your ambition. I missed you. I missed being me.

--Originally posted 5/23/08--

Emotional Constipation

To be taken literally shock value must contribute value. I hope you will find that value in what I am learning. It seems emotions are so closely linked to our insecurities we manipulate ourselves as a matter of course. In example, the confidence I feel about what I am wearing is derived from my perception of others' opinions. As I was giving myself that final mirror check one morning I realized I was imagining what another person would think of my outfit. I then wondered how often my decisions are based on public opinion. At work I avoid being associated with non-performers. I choose friends according to looks (this must keep me in with the attractive crowd). I withhold, or even alter, my beliefs to avoid disparity. I stop singing in my car when pulling along side another-what would the stranger think of me. CLICK. That's what happened. My brain suddenly adjusted itself and my thoughts are now lining up with amazing focus. At once, I can see what is, and what was, important. Comparing my present and past with such focus allowed me to correct my own importance. I understand my desires are not second to yours, yet this does not make me selfish. When did I convince myself my own dreams are an afterthought? It must be possible to follow my ambitions while still supporting yours. Even now I am concerned you might be displeased with me. What is this need and can it be unlearned? If I am my true self my friends will still love me, I am sure. Possibly they love me despite this facade they choose to ignore. Possibly they will love me more after I release the need for their acceptance and just accept myself. I said this is a value I am learning, still learning. I have managed to do alright so far in my effort to please others. I can not be stopped now that I have only myself to impress.

--Originally posted 5/24/08--