I recently decided it was time to admit to myself that my life wasn't at a point that left me satisfied. Not that I am ungrateful for what I have. I just think I should be at a different level than where I am now. I needed to change my game plan - what I was doing obviously had not worked out.
After making a few decisions I would have typically handled differently, I noticed how I was being noticed. At first it was a relief to get a little recognition and the validation that I was on the right track. But those positive reactions were soon joined by negativity. I was sucker-punched and stumbled back a couple steps.
Never a quitter, I moved on. I made myself more visible and took more risks. I stood on my own, needing no direction. I focused on what needed to be done, and took action to change things. The reactions paralleled my actions; the more confidence and leadership I expressed, the more confidence in what I could do was returned to me. But this also fated me to a greater amount of negativity. The higher I stand, the harder they hit me to try and knock me down.
I'm not invincible. I have been knocked-down and I have fallen on my own. I believe what makes us strong is how we rebound from those situations. Quitting is not an option. You have to get back up, no matter how hard, and fight back. Once you come to the realization you are only fighting yourself, you can finally move on.
All the hatred and dirt thrown my way was taking a toll on me. I let it attack my confidence and self-esteem and thought I would never be able to please those who doubted me. I struggled to find an answer to their lack of faith in me and stumbled upon the answer. They never lost faith in me, they had developed a fear of me and what I was doing. They were realizing their own incompetence.
The attacks they made on me began to feed my confidence and I understood that the hatred was jealousy. Once they realized I was threatening their credibility and integrity, their natural instinct was to attack instead of adapt. Each attack is an affirmation that I am on the correct path. By expressing your weakness you have cast a spotlight on my strengths.
You made me stronger and I appreciate that gift.
