Why do we get dressed up to go to the store? Why worry about how a stranger views us? I have noticed I spend an unnecessarily large amount of time on my appearance just to impress strangers. And maybe not even to impress, but to give the impression that I care about how I look. These people have no idea what qualities I posses on the inside, or lack. They have no way of knowing what core values I hold dear, only that I shaved, did my hair, smell good (or at least do not smell bad), and have clean clothes.
I remember my grandmother telling me as a child going to the mall that I represent my family name when I am out in public. What I do reflects directly on my family. I think this is part of the reason I concern myself with a stranger's opinion. But unless I commit some social transgression there is nothing for them to judge but my appearance. Does being dressed in nice clothes make me a better man? Or, by walking through the grocery store in a wrinkled T-shirt and flip flops take away from my true self?
While I can admit I have spent a good amount of time preparing myself before going out but this is mostly in an attempt to impress a possible suitor, not some random stranger I will probably never cross paths with again. And this is normally when going to a bar or even the store in the area where I would have the best odds of meeting someone. This is completely logical and comes from nature. This is the peacock showing his tail feathers. This is the first impression we are taught from an early age to be so important - and it is. This is how we grab someone's attention.
But this is not what I am talking about. What concerns me is the amount of time I have spent getting showered and dressed for a quick trip to the grocery store right down the street. While the shower is always appreciated by everyone, why is it so important for me to make sure every hair is in place, I am clean shaven and dressed in a cute outfit. Is this coming from a subconscious fear that I will be judged? I would love to use the "who knows who you will run into" excuse, but that really does not apply. I have my music blasting through my headphones to prevent social interaction (judge me another time), and use the self-checkout whenever possible.
It is more than that, however. I also quiet down when around a larger group, or around strangers and even stop singing along to my music in my car when another pulls up next to me at a red light. Where does this fear of perception come from? In trying to manipulate it by wearing nice clothes, am I changing this perception or just fooling myself? Do they really see me?
After making sure my appearance is on point have I adequately met the requirements for public appearances? Or, am I just catering to this endless need to be accepted? I am beginning to realize this perception of me I strive so hard to improve is all based in my own insecurities. I have created a perception of their perception.
