Am I really my own person?

I am ashamed to say I have let other people effect the way I am. In the past I was a very caring and devoted friend, but I became friends with (or attracted as friends) people who took advantage of this. I, at first, allowed myself to become a very negative person and would not allow people to access my "good side". Later, I started to shun social activities and avoid people altogether. This proved to be very effective in cutting off people's access to my openness and protected my feelings. What I did not anticipate was how lonely a world it would become once I stopped talking to people. I always defended myself (mostly to myself) by saying I was alone, but not lonely. It took a couple years - and the slow descent from society - to realize how wrong I was. I suddenly understood how much I needed to be around people. I love people, and the interactions I had with them. I loved being the caring person, the positive person. The friend people would gravitate around when they wanted to laugh, or needed cheering up. Eliminating friendships would help prevent the possible misuse of my love. There were no possibilities, however, involved in eliminating friendships. There was the guarantee that I would soon suffer my decision. My next hurdle was getting back into socializing without limiting my being. I could not let previous experiences, or my fear that they might re-occur, from changing who I am. I had to commit to jumping headfirst into the sea of people with an open heart and pray that the people I met would be different from those I knew. I had to remain strong in my belief that the majority of people are good-hearted and loving. This part I am still working on, but I have full faith that I will be successful this time and remain the me I love.